Recite the Multiverse
by William Glennon
Summary: REBOOTED for the fourth time! An android from a hideous past is flung into a world it has only seen in dreams, quickly greeting the population with a destructive entrance just beyond society- but it can only acquaint itself with a handful of the inhabitants of this dreamlike scape shortly before they are all thrown back to the world where it once lived- to help one failed Irken.


An oily pile of scum sits stuck to the inside of its stomach. Its face a perfect sphere, with a burning red coal of a left eye and a simple unfolding camera lens of its right. This thing that sat in a room full of unethical scientists as it watched them stick electrified cables down its throat and force it to break glass for seven loathsome hours every day for nineteen years.

The thing stared at the purple-blackness around the inside of its eyelid, reminded of the color of its heart. This thing, which sat undisturbed for generations, entertaining the thought of finally waking from the dreaded sleep that imprisoned its mind all those years ago, physically blinded from everything in its environment.

Something whistled in its ear as it sat in its fetal position, as it tried to keep its mind from going crazy as it had done over the course of several centuries. As according to the voices in its head, it would normally think itself male, and its name- _oh_ how could he forget his name? It was such a fitting label for such an unfitting being.

_But this is no ordinary madness,_ he thought. _This is an outright emulation of the senses I believed I had so many years ago._

He thought he could hear laughter just then, not the shrill, nearly forced laughter of the demons in his faint memory, no. He heard a genuine pleasant laughter shoving its way into his ear, welcoming itself to his unused conscious whether he liked it or not.

He was getting kind of sick of that sort of thing...

BBZZRRTCH

An electric crackle alerted the bot to reality, it was the loudest noise he had heard in centuries, and he was very hopeful that it would end soon.

CCHHHH-FWOOOOOOOOOOOOONG...

Then was a noise like a hard wind pounding against the bots ears- which were basically two microphones in the far sides of his cheeks, ill-exercised until today.

FWAAAAA-FWAAAA-FWAAA-FWAA-FWA-FWA-FWA-FWA-FWA-FWA- FWAFWAFWAFWAFWAFWAFWAFWAFWA-

The noise shifted gradually into a noise like repeatedly passing by a particularly large object at a high speed. The bot was beginning to feel agitation returning to his mind after its sixty centuries of continuous absence.

_Well, this is just wonderful,_ he thought. _I wait six thousand years for rescue and some asshole just tosses me off a cliff, that doesn't seem fair at all..._

BZZACKACKACK

The electric crackling returned- this time in repetitive intervals rather than a single long-spanning noise.

_This is starting to get annoying- where's that mute button?_

The noise faded almost instantaneously, and was replaced by the sound of blowing wind.

_Must've passed through a storm... jeez, it's windy out today, isn't it?_

The noise grew louder.

_Ooohhh, I see, I'm still falling._

And louder...

_This is really going to hurt, isn't it?_

And louder...

Hang on, can I feel pain? Ah well, guess I'm about to find out...

And then the bot heard screaming. The same cheerful laughing voices from before that he heard from such a distance had escalated into a collective scream.

_Oh, goody, this must mean I have a whole grouping of frantic pedestrians making space for the massive shock wave I'm about to create, that never gets old. I should probably open my eyes now or I'll miss the fireworks._

The bot heard a loud creak before his eyes shot open, letting in a grayish light as well as the visibility of hundreds of multicolored specks below him.

_Odd..._

The specks were scrambling hysterically- most appearing to drift off of the ground while others were actually plummeting towards it at a lower speed than the bot. The bot couldn't get a good look at them, but decided he didn't want to, remembering a previous experience involving organics.

"Excuse me," the bot said at regular volume, avoiding eye contact with what he believed to be humans, "but I appear to be falling out of the sky, do any of you know how that happened?"

"DEAR CELESTIA, LOOK AT ITS EYES!" one of the blurs shouted, and drifted along with its comrades off of the ground.

"I... suppose not," the bot replied, disappointed. "Humph... where have I heard that name before?"

He looked back at what he believed to be the ground and saw that one of the blurs, a light blue blur, was rapidly making its way towards the bots head on a collision course.

"And now I've pissed them off," the bot grumbled.

The bots head made contact with the blue blur, causing the latter to yelp in surprise, and the former to continue falling, now with some form of organism on his head.

The bot was now in a much better mood, "I say! I must have stumbled upon a land of self-placing, anthropomorphic hats! This really is my kinda day..."

"Yeesh, I hardly know you and I already wish I didn't," the "hat" remarked.

"The hats even make conversation! Brilliant!" the bot looked up at the "hat" and quickly dropped his face back into a frown. "Dang."

The mass that had collided with the bot's head was, in short, not a hat, to be specific it was an equine, to be exact it was a winged equine, to be precise it was a cyan Pegasus with magenta eyes and a rainbow-colored mane, and "it" was very, very irritated.

"Hi?" it, or by the sound of its voice she, said.

"Evening," the bot replied. "I didn't disturb anything, did I? A lot of people- or Pegasi, as it turns out- seemed to be agitated by my existence."

"Happens all the time, you giant... metal... monkey thing."

"Android," said the robot.

The Pegasus slapped her face. "ANDROID! I knew that!"

The equine looked down and realized that they were both still falling, and then she looked at the android. "You can survive this fall, right?"

"Yeah," the android replied glumly.

Three seconds later, the metal man was walking out of a massive crater in the earth.

"Made of indestructible alloy, never saves me a free-fall right smack into the ground..."

He noticed that the land was covered in grass, and not snow as he had inferred when he was falling. "Did I shatter the streets?"

"You fell through a cloud, if you didn't notice," the cyan Pegasus from earlier replied as she landed beside the android.

"So there's another layer to this collective?" the android asked.

"Yeah, a lot of 'em are earth ponies and unicorns, but you spot the occasional Pegasus."

"It's organized, I'll say that much," the android muttered. "Like something out of one of my wet dreams..."

The Pegasus looked at the android, concerned. "Do you have a name, or is it really Android?"

"My name?" the android scoffed. "My name is Useless."

"Ah, you're one of those existential types, aren't you?" the Pegasus replied as she raised an eyebrow.

"No, my name really is Useless," Useless said, he pointed to his arm. "Useless is my name."

The Pegasus squinted to read the labeled arm; indeed, it read "U.531355."

She tilted her head in confusion at the idea of such a misery-inducing name, shrugged, and stuck her right foreleg out to shake hands- more accurately hooves. "Rainbow Dash, pleased to meet you, Useless."

"Yep," Useless shook hands with an odd method that looked something like a hastily-made knot being tied, and plugged his hand into his neck, naturally.

His vision blurred as text appeared over his eyes.

_NAME- LOCALLY DETERMINED AS RAINBOW DASH_

_AGE- ESTIMATED 15-19_

_MORTAL STATUS- ALIVE_

_[Incomplete Data]_

The text vanished, and his vision refocused, the previous event took about a half second, so there weren't any confused glances to exchange.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Multiverse, a pathetic Earth child locally known as Dib was rudely cracking into his next-door neighbor's computer. The child wore glasses due to a minor genetic disability found in the eyes of certain human beings.

Dib was known by others as a nerd, teachers as a nuisance, his father as a loony, and his sister as annoying. All of these were true, of course, but shaded by the fact that the boy's head was the most ridiculous example of disproportionate enormity that the Earth could offer next to the amount of "Suck-Monkey" frozen beverages that it would take to extinguish the sun.

"Bam! Done!" Dib shouted to himself as he dramatically pressed the enter key on his computer keyboard. He leaned back in his chair with his arms folded and his mouth in a frown. "Jeez, I don't know if I'm just a genius or Irken security just sucks."

The new and improved Irken Empire logo appeared over Dib's computer screen; it was a symbolically-drawn Irken invader in the act of planting a flag on a spherical object, obviously the representation of a planet.

Dib rolled his eyes. "That's original."

_"Oh... god, my knees..."_ grunted a faint voice through the speakers.

"Knees?" Dib asked. "Computers don't have knees!"

"Be quiet!" shouted the voice of Dib's sister from the next room.

Dib ignored the response and looked to the computer screen with anticipation.

The screen shifted from the Irken loading screen to a different loading screen. The screen displayed a looping video clip of the silhouette of a winged creature beating the border of the screen repeatedly with the silhouette of a wrench. A caption at the bottom of the screen read _"LOADING SURVEILLANCE DEVICE R47, PLEASE WAIT"_

_"I said I was sorry about that!"_ said another voice through the speakers, the clarity rising gradually.

_"Well, sorry doesn't change the fact that they gave me nerve endings,"_ the first voice replied, there was the sound of creaking metal, and an electronic-sounding voice stated, _"PAINKILLERS ADMINISTERED."_

_"Ooh, cool..."_ the first voice muttered.

_"What the heigh are painkillers?"_

_"Medicine or something... I d'unno, the point is I can't feel a thing now. Probably overdosed or something like that."_

There was a loud crack.

"…_I think my stomach just exploded."_

_"…What? Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine- the repair crew built me another one."_

_"Repair crew..?"_

The screen flickered, and a bright instance of white light pierced Dib's sensitive eyes to the point where he had to remove his glasses and cover his eyes completely with his two hands.

"Ooh, pretty," Useless said with dulled interest as he witnessed the scene before him. In his mind, this was the best thing he'd seen that day next to the hole in the sky and the hole in the ground- Mostly because he really liked holes, and if he had a look around the highlight of this spectacle, he could see something of a crater around the beautiful city he was supposed to be looking at. However, he honestly just liked how they managed to fill a hole with an entire town.

"Uh-huh," Rainbow replied.

The town itself was truly divine; birds in the trees, pastures green, a homey town square with cobblestone paths like something out of nineteenth century London- by god, they turned a hollow tree into a domicile. Surely its inhabitants were as dear to strange travelers as their town was to strange eyes.

"Am I allowed to go down there?" Useless asked hopefully.

Rainbow examined Useless, like a chimp would check another for lice. "Eh, a quick introduction and you'll be fine, we've had worse things crawl out of the forest than metal monkeys without ears."

"Fantastic," Useless replied, and began walking towards the town with Rainbow Dash in tow, deep thuds following his footsteps, when out of nowhere a pink pony jumped out of a bush with a massive burst of confetti and embraced him in a surprise bear hug, her head coming up to his chin.

Useless didn't react- he hadn't had much time to train his emotions in the ten minutes he had been awake.

Still, the warmth of the equine's arms was enough to make him the happiest he had been since he was a mere eye piece.

"I like you. I don't know who you are, but you have my adoration," Useless said flatly as he rubbed the pony's ear.

"That's Pinkie Pie, and that's how she reacts to newcomers," Rainbow said. "Actually sort of a dull welcoming, coming from her."

"Well, what do you expect for such short notice?" said Pinkie, releasing Useless. "I heard this big _THUD_ noise and I brought a few dozen bags of confetti just in case but I wasn't expecting anypony to trot _out_ of the Everfree forest without being covered in slime and worms!" she turned her head at a hundred-eighty degree angle towards Useless and quickly looked back at Rainbow Dash. "He's not a space alien, is he?"

"Not a very good one," Dib muttered as he watched his computer screen with bloodshot eyes.

"_If he is, he's not a very good one,"_ said Rainbow Dash.

"THEY REALLY CAN!" Dib screamed, jumping out of his chair.

A neighbor from across the street opened their window. "Shut up, ya little nerd!"

"Yes Mrs. Squirrely," Dib mumbled as he reached for his mail-order aluminum helmet.


End file.
